oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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