you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
