The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
