Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
