it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
