Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

I'm glad girls dont get visible erections

(617): View more from Massachusetts

But, it would have made life so much easier...

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(208): View more from Idaho

I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy

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(858): View more from California

Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.

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(586): View more from Michigan

you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway

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(636): View more from Missouri

hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?

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(985): View more from Louisiana

My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats

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