i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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