just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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