I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
