Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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