Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize