I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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