would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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