careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
