Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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