3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
