Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
