I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
