I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think pants incapable of making pants work
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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