And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
