No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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