Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
