Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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