so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
false alarm. still invincible.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
