i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
