just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize