Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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