just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
