help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
one two three fourrrrnication!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
