"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize