the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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