Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
