we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
