Having a random hookup so left but love u
so let's talk penis.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
