Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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