Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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