I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
im holly from the hills drunk
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
