I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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