i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
