At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
