He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
