We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
