I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How does one acquire holy water?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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