I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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