Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Boobs speak an international language.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
