I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
