No, you can still breathe under the balls.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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