I smell stomach acid.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
