i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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