I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
