I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Enjoy the penises
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
