I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
