I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
People in love make me want to vomit
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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