Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
