everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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